With so many tasks to complete and so many ideas I want to start, it’s often difficult to point out to myself which tasks are directly related to my paycheck. It seems everything I spend time on will have an impact or has a potential for an impact. However, when I really break it down, only a few are immediately associated with the stream of actual tangible income.
Really, is the topic today about financial issues and earning incoming?
No, not for me.
In times like these, where money is tighter and sales aren’t necessarily growing, it is indeed important to focus on where the money is coming from – do the tasks that will result in the best (not necessarily largest or fastest) return. However, for me the emotional bank account is what seems to be taking the greatest hit.
I am finding that the more people I worry about and the more tasks I assign myself, the less I’m taking care of myself. Really, we’re supposed to take care of ourselves first, right? How is that possible when we have kids and spouses and extended family and friends and associates and colleagues and even the new unknown people we are trying to connect with… all around us… all the time? The answer isn’t “take some alone time” nor is it “shorten your list”, all of these people and things I do are my inspiration and my brainfood – they are truly my happiness.
You are my happiness.
Yet there are days I feel like the one alone in the middle of the crowd.
Why is that? Well, I have a theory…
All of these people I surround myself have their own set of needs and tasks and others they too need to take care of. I can ask for assistance or recognition or whatever I need, all day long, but I am the only one that is capable of knowing what I need at any given moment. If I am spending all my time worrying about what everyone else needs, I’m not listening to myself — so how can I expect anyone else to?
I’m not sure either, but I do it anyway.
I rely on others, especially family, to listen, pay attention and offer what I need to feel important in the circle. When they don’t – from my perspective – come through, I feel let down and then disappointed or forgotten.. and usually unimportant which then turns into a feeling of wondering if they really love me anyway. How draining. So how do I fix this? I’m not quite sure. My instinct says if I do for me first, I’m being selfish, but my gut says if I don’t do for me first… who will? I think the right answer is, its a fine balance and we should be able to expect from others, but on their terms, not ours.
This is not an easy concept for me to accept.
I’ve said for years, when you love someone, you need to love them how they need it, not how you think they need it. Yet, I need to learn to take care of myself with what I know I need yet also learn to accept what I receive is the gesture I am looking for, just not in the packaging I expected. I think in reality there is a middle ground – we need to love others as they need it, yet we need to appreciate the love as we are given as well – give them the same value.
So for today, I’ll just work on paying myself first –