I regularly have people comment to me along the lines that they are impressed with how organized and continually productive I am, or how sweet, upbeat and happy I always seem to be.
It’s not true. I must have a body double somewhere. I collect more than my fair share of stuff and junk and more stuff… both tangible and digital. It may all be organized in my head, but so are a ton of lost thoughts and day dreams. I try to be happy and productive and a darn nice gal, yet I find some days I just can’t do it. I find it interesting that I’m may be told I inspire others to do more or how to be happier, yet I can be a giant pain in the rear and rather grumpy… for no specially defined reason. I shout out that people need to be kind and giving yet I have moments of complete selfishness and my kids will tell you I yell… a lot.
So does this make me a hypocrit, a liar, a poser? Does this make me fake for what I appear to represent?
Sometimes I feel like it does. Sometimes I think, “how can I possibly accept compliments from those that don’t see who I really am?”.
Then when I stop, like today, to think about it… I realize, It’s ok. At least I am willing to admit these faults, right? I’m not saying I expect mysef to be perfect. However, if I go around with the intent of “inspiring smiles every day”, shouldn’t I, too, be smiling?
There is no humanly possible way to be wonderful 100% of the time. I doubt Mother Theresa never had a bad moment. It happens. What we do with those bad moments is probably where the dividing line is. I for one am still in training as far as learning what to do with myself and my actions when the world around me creates what seems like chaos. Sometimes the moment is so overwhelming, it feels like there is no way out. Do I then grab a smiley cupcake and go skipping on my way? Heck no! But every day, I try to overcome the frustrating pulls and pushes – some days I win and some days I should be put in timeout myself.
I’m not proud of myself when my 5 year old behaves better than I do. I am not happy when I’ve just yelled at my husband. I can’t say I’ve ever enjoyed being grumpy nor have I noted that complaining ever helped me. This is why my smiley side tends to come shining through… to help counter the gloom. Sometimes, my worse days result in my niceness doodles. If I am having a rotten day, making myself refocus on something positive helps really does help re-establish my thinking process for the day.
You should try it. The next time you are having a horrible rotten, no good day… grab a big fat marker and draw the cutest thing you can think of. If you aren’t an illustrator, the silliness of your attempted masterpiece might just turn your moment around.
My point being today… just be who you are and try your hardest at being a darn good you. You can’t be perfect all the time but if you are trying to be what you say you believe in, that’s a step in the right direction.